OVER-EAGER ABOUT WHAT?!

I have had interactions in real life where I run into people I haven’t seen or heard from in years, and they’ll say to me, “I’m loving what you’re sharing on (social media platform) with (insert recent creative projects…).”
I’ve also heard friends express fear of telling someone how much they love their work, stating “I don’t want to seem weird.” And I think to myself, ‘Weird about what? This person does a thing, and they share it with the world. You genuinely love it! Why would that be weird?’
So on Instagram, I decided to pose a question:

”Do you ever feel like enthusiastically telling someone how much you like what they do, makes you look over-eager?”

When the poll ended, with 80 people responding, nearly 60% percent said that they felt strange about expressing honest love or appreciation for people’s work. While I suspected I might get this response, it hurt me to the core.

WHY? If you genuinely love what someone does, why wouldn’t they want to know that? Most creatives regularly fluctuate between a reasonable level of confidence to crippling self-doubt. Western Society is especially guilty of undervaluing the importance of music, visual art, and literature. While we constantly consume these things and refer to them as our culture, we discourage people for pursuing their passions to contribute in these areas. Corporate Executives make a living exploiting the work of creatives, while encouraging the labeling of creatives as “Starving Artists”. Even many successful artists regularly struggle over whether they should continue, whether what they’re doing is worth all the hard work that goes into it.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!
If someone is doing something, and it makes you feel good, you think it’s done beautifully, or you see it as valuable, PLEASE LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT! Knowing that we’re doing something that matters helps keep artists going. Most artists create because something internal compels them to create something they may personally NEED to see. They share their work in hopes that others connect with it as well, and perhaps people will purchase the works, which will enable them to keep creating from an honest space.

The importance of an artists work is not always reflected in sales. But knowing that people appreciate the work being made gives an artist fuel to continue investing in themselves, to continue being vulnerable and honest with the world, and to continue sharing the beauty they create! Never feel weird in telling someone how much you appreciate what they do!

I AM ALREADY ENOUGH...

Note to Self:

I am abundant in my ability to create Value.

• I have enough materials

• I have enough ideas

• I have enough connections

• I have enough energy

• There are infinite possibilities I don’t even know about

• I have enough knowledge to get started

• I have enough intelligence to ask good questions

• I have an abundant capacity to learn

• I have enough help

• I have the capacity to ask for more help

Smelling The Roses

When I first picked up a camera, I did what I could without the assistance of others - I walked around and took pictures of anything that seemed interesting.

Living in East Orange, NJ, I would start in my neighborhood, go toward Newark or New York City, and photograph whatever caught my interest along the way. I would take pictures of cracks in the sidewalk, dilapidated walls, neglected buildings , foliage growing out of unexpected places, rusty mailboxes, and sometimes random people on the street. I photographed things that inspired me, like graffiti, odd phrases, or things that seemed to have a different meaning when I could isolate them from their surroundings.

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As I worked to develop my skills photographing people, my photographs of inanimate objects got neglected, when really the strength of my people photography, is that I “objectify” my subjects, I photograph them as if they were beautiful, interesting objects.
I came to realize that really, what feeds my soul is focusing my photographic eye on textures and forms, and the neighborhood photowalks are really something that I miss.

More recently, I realized that, for me, photography is a way to slow life down. As the years go buy, looking back through my photographs helps me remember “where the time has gone.” It reminds me of moments and places I’ve seen but forgotten. It reminds me of people I’ve met. It reminds me of venues and communities that no longer exist. It reminds me of relationships I’ve enjoyed with people, good times I’ve had.

In a way that is similar to how smells can trigger memories, photographs - even the ones of simple things, help me recall experiences and places that I had forgotten. Having more memories makes life feel full again. It feels less like my life is speeding past me.

It is very satisfying to use my camera to “stop and smell the roses".

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A Handful of Flaws...

My goal is to read 12 books this year. So far, I’ve finished one book that I started in December, and I started a new book that I learned of from The Tim Ferris Show podcast. The book is The One Thing, and the author is Gary Keller, founder of Keller Williams Realty.
I may do a book report when I complete the book, but I wanted to share something that I thought was simple, and hopefully useful.

One of my goals this year is to read 12 books. Maybe I should do Book Reports.

Typically, with self-improvement, I strive to focus on building new positive habits, and the books drops some gems about making it easier to build good habits. But this sentence struck me in an interesting way:
“A pioneer of quality-control management, [Joseph M.] Juran had noticed that a handful of flaws would usually produce a majority of the defects.”

The focus of the chapter was basically, the Pareto Principle, efforts, and results, but this sentence struck me, because it got me thinking in the opposite way I’m usually working.

If a handful of flaws produced a majority of the defects, what if in life, we first aimed to set up little actions or systems to eliminate the habits that don’t serve us? For me, a lot of times I try to develop a useful habit that may be difficult to train, but what if instead, I first worked on ways to make it hard for me to make certain bad decisions.

Examples:
- SPENDING LESS TIME ON MY PHONE is a worthy goal, but what if I 1.) Buy a watch (My Father would be happy to hear this, which will be a blog post when I buy a watch). A watch would help because right now, I have to pick up my phone to keep track of time. 2.) Only put the interesting apps on my iPad (which stays in my studio) 3.) Keep magazines in the bathroom (so i have something to look at other than Instagram)
- DRINKING A GALLON OF WATER DAILY would be nice, but what if I bought Sparking Water or tea (which, for me, makes it easier to drink less beer.)

And perhaps I’m just thinking about it in reverse, but the thought is, if I first focus on making it harder to make bad decisions, significant improvements can come before I’ve accomplished the challenging work of building a “positive” habit. And perhaps that improvement can give the momentum to build better habits. I’ll give it a shot and let you know how it’s going.

Unexplained Necessities

Something I have been thinking about a lot lately - and a response to a conversation I had yesterday with another artist who felt the same way...

Artists often feel compelled to create things that don't demand to be created - other than to scratch their own itch, satisfying some unexplained compulsion. Often it's to see something tangible that only exists in their head, sometimes it's a response to the world around them. It can be a myriad of prompts, but creators gon' create! 

I think when I get too focused on where I will be showcasing work, and how I will show it, I start to get stuck in my head about why people NEED to see it. Often that's not a question I can answer. But when I consider the entirety of my creative experiences and what they do for my life, it makes me realize that the answer is within the question. It needs to exists because I felt a need to make it, and its existence serves me - even if it serves no one else. 

 But chances are, if I needed to see something this bad, then someone else needed to see it too, or it would at least be a catalyst for some necessary dialogue. I feel that my creative life should show up in ways that don't first require me to explain why. If I create, then it should be somewhat rare that my consumption is not affected, or "polluted" by my own creative process. The home I rent or buy should look like MY home, the clothes I buy should look like MY clothes, I should have writings, music, and performances that speak to my vision of the world, and make it very clear WHY these things needs to exist. The existence of anything I can and will create should be as absolutely necessary as my own existence...

Because you know what?! I do not NEED to exist, but I'm here, and I'm sure as hell going to behave like the world needs me!

Touch with your eyes, not with your hands...

I want my photography to be a sensual experience. I love trying to make images that you can "touch with your eyeballs". I love showcasing the curves, angles, textures, and movement that make a figure beautiful. 

In The Right Direction...

I always know "the next step", that's never been the problem. The difficulty is embracing the direction I need to go. Stepping out a place that is very comfortable (for better or worse), when I only know where I'm placing my next step.

Knowing you're on the right path is a fortunate thing, and I do believe I'm headed in the right direction. But it's a struggle to face my fears. I guess I have to struggle then. There's work to do, and places to go! Everything I want is on the other side of fear. 

FUCKIT.

Life is Good. So why is this the first image I shoot with a camera that was bought with gifted funds? I think this image is a part of my happiness. With so many positive things happening for me that deserve my attention, I don't have the energy to deal with the lemons life sometimes hands me. There are certain things that lie outside of my control and I refuse to give them much of my attention. Why should I? I can't change them - at least, not as quickly as I'd like to. I keep my head down and try to focus on what's working for me. When something doesn't work for me, I just look at it as something that shows a skill I need to learn. Know better. Do better. "Fuck The Rest!"

Mentally, I'm always waiting for the bottom to drop out. So I won't let anything less than The Trials of Job bring me down. 
 

unapologetically beautiful...

i won't apologize for my beauty. i am magical. i like to wear wigs, but not right now. i like makeup, but not right now. i am intelligent. i am fascinating and alluring. i don't need to dress it up. 

i love myself. i love my ability to make decisions. I love to push myself beyond my comfort zone. I know not everyone understands all of my decisions. it's cool. i don't always understand theirs. i won't apologize. maybe my choices will inspire you. i hope my choices make you value your own.

choose to enjoy life. choose to learn. choose to challenge yourself. choose to challenge others. choose to be safe.

i will choose to look you in your eye. i refuse to be ashamed of myself. in this moment, i choose to be bare. i choose to be vulnerable. i won't leave this to the imagination. i don't need you to be imagining this.  imagine me wearing makeup. imagine what books i'm reading. imagine what type of music i like. imagine how you might bring a smile to my face today. imagine how you can inspire me. imagine how you can make our world a more beautiful place.